


Guilt

by The_Archives_of_Silver



Category: Elena of Avalor
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Esteban keeps making things worse for himself, Gen, Guilt, Mentions of Death, Oh the dramatic irony, Pre Season 3, Shame, contemplation of death, really short oneshot, why
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-04 02:27:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21190040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Archives_of_Silver/pseuds/The_Archives_of_Silver
Summary: Guilt is something Esteban was used to. It’s presence was constant and didn’t seem to interfere with his duties. However, in the silence of night, guilt raises its voice.





	Guilt

Esteban was used to feeling bad. He his it behind an air of confidence. He wanted to prove that he was more than what he had done, prove that he grew. He didn’t want to prove it to others, rather than prove it to himself. 

Guilt plagued him, ripping into his heart. It’s the worst at night. The silence welcomes the whispers of self loathing.

_Murderer..._

_Traitor..._

_They’ll turn on you...._

_You call yourself familia..._

_You’re no better than you were then..._

_Your parents would be ashamed of you had they seen what you grew up to be...._

_Killer..._

_Killer!_

** _Killer!_**

Often times, he sits up and cries into the silence, clutching his chest like something was about to burst from it. He wants to scream, curse, anything to express the soul crushing guilt, shame, and regret 

So many terrible decisions that lead to people getting hurt. So many people tortured by Shuriki, people killed by her hand... all because of him. 

It’s nights like this, when it’s hard to breathe and his chest aches with stifled tears, that he believes death would be a better. Let the dark shadows of the spirit world engulf him and torture him for the rest of time. Anything would be better than facing his family with the truth of what he had done.

But he was a coward. He feared punishment and judgement, from this world or the next. It would come in time. That much was true. So he continues to stifle his guilt, regret, and self-loathing. He plans to till his final breath. He’ll holdhis guilt inside, locked in his chest until his soul gives out.

Anything except facing Elena with the truth.


End file.
